


Lasting Wisdom

by skinandbones



Category: B: The Beginning (Anime)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Implied Kamuquinn, Relationship Advice, Takeru "The Love Guru"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinandbones/pseuds/skinandbones
Summary: Kamui asks Takeru for advice. It’s not the kind Takeru wants to hear though.





	Lasting Wisdom

**Author's Note:**

> I do love picking on Kamui for whatever reasons unknown but sometimes I pity him. And Takeru doesn't need this at all...

The argument continues again in the quiet, meeting room.

Takeru has been rolling his eyes, listening to their festival of merry insults thrown back and forth for the past ten minutes while he’s sifting through his weapon stash. The sounds of boots echo as Yuna walks out of the room, ignoring Kamui’s last words because she knows she’s wasting her breath on him.

Kamui spits out along the lines of “Do you want to die” but is met with silence instead.

What an idiot, Takeru thinks. They should’ve taken their conversation somewhere else.

The amount of times Kamui starts a quarrel, Takeru ignores it for the most part but it doesn’t mean he enjoys hearing it, even Kukuri tells him she’s tired of his crap but she tries blocking him out completely when Kamui opens his mouth, and luckily Kamui doesn’t bother them if good fortune is on their side.

Kamui likes a good fight when he’s in one of those moods, and when Yuna cuts right into his banter, it’s just enough for Kamui to throw daggers at her but not the point where they are ripping each other’s throat out. Thanks to Minatsuki keeping the violence to a bare minimum in their little home of theirs. At least Yuna is savage when she wants to be, a quality Takeru respects. Not Kamui though, he would never.

Sometimes Takeru wonders how Yuna can deal with all the jibes and stupid jokes Kamui dumps on her because if he had to deal with all that, he would prefer shooting a bullet between the eyes to shut him up.

He asks Izanami once about it but they don’t mind Kamui’s outbursts actually, it’s how he is because he wants the attention, and if Minatsuki isn’t pulling the plug on him, then leave Kamui be. It’s all good fun, not like Kamui is breaking any “rules”.

On the other hand, Quinn is another story. Kamui acts like a cockroach skittering around Quinn, and Takeru almost pities the redhead. Almost.

“What’s gotten your brain all scrambled, kid?”

Takeru flashes him a warning, watching Kamui making his way towards him. “Thinking about shoving this rocket up your ass, for starters.” He opens his reserve, revealing a set of RPG-7s housed inside.

“What was that?” Kamui laughs it off with his high pitch tone in the air before he takes out his blade, balancing the length as he dances it between his fingers. “You’re going to do what to my ass now?”

The lewd tone puts Takeru feeling disgusted. “God, why are you so annoying?” he glowers. “Go find someone else to bother.”

“Want to have a go, shorty?” Kamui grins. The tip of the blade points directly at Takeru. “I guarantee you’ll have a fun time.”

“Shorty?” Takeru cringes. The last thing he needs right now is Kamui mocking his height. “You want to try me?” He makes his stand, aiming the rocket launcher at him, and Kamui’s eyes flicker with an odd adoration.

“That’s really cute but it would be unfortunate. You’ll kill us all!” Kamui laughs even harder, unafraid and eyes burning with desire to see Takeru press the trigger.

“Better than you alive.”

“Don’t fry my good side please.”

“You mean one less, ugly fuck in this world.”

“And a tasty fried shrimp.”

Takeru’s resolve begins wearing thin. “You are—”

“Forget him, brother,” Kukuri cuts him off immediately from her workbench in the corner behind them. “He’s not worth it.” She loads her bullets, one for each chamber and gives the cylinder a whirl before pocketing it to her side. “Don’t forget, we got a plane to catch soon. We can’t be late.”

“Oh. Didn’t see you there, Kukuri.” Kamui smiles, his knife returns to the inside of his jacket. Then his hands clap together. “That’s right. You two have a little mission of your own today. Be careful not to trip and fall.”

“It shouldn’t take long,” Kukuri answers shortly. “Let’s go, Takeru.” She starts leaving the room with her belongings and makes her way to the chopper.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” Takeru lowers his weapon and stuffs his essentials into a long duffel bag. Once he has what he needs, he ganders at Kamui again, seeing how he hasn’t moved from his spot, eyes searching for something from him. Takeru lifts a brow before crossing his arms together. “I give. What do you want?”

“Your advice.”

“My advice...?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“And you think I can help you?”

“You’re a smart kid, so indulge me a little.”

Takeru groans. “Ask someone else.”

“Can’t. Everyone’s busy.”

Takeru attempts to reply back, but Kamui beats him to it. “But you’re _less_ busy. Give me five minutes of your time. C’mon, we’re friends, right? And friends help each other.”

It’s a bullshit answer. But Takeru might as well do it to satisfy Kamui’s curiosity before Kukuri starts complaining and wondering where he is. “Fine. Shoot.”

“How do I get Quinn to like me?”

Takeru blinks. He stares and stares a while longer at Kamui, the silence drapes over them but he tries comprehending the question, what it means and it’s just weird that he’s having one of those conversations as if explaining “the birds and the bees” story. Now, all Takeru sees is the serious expression on Kamui’s face, no tricks or any impending rude awakening. It’s there, clear and defined. Kamui wants to know.

There’s no way this question is meant for him though. Why must Kamui drag him into his own drama? His experience in romance consists of nothing.

“Dude, how should I know?” Takeru counters. “Since when did this happened?”

“Just answer my question, pastel,” Kamui insists. “Don’t think about playing or I will cut you for real.”

Takeru’s eyes shot out. “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?!” His hands waving madly in the air, but Kamui continues waiting for an answer.

“Fuck.” Takeru relieves some air before scratching his head but a suggestion comes to mind. He supposes he might as well solve this fast.

“Flowers.”

“Eh…”

“People buy flowers, okay.”

“Quinn’s allergic.”

“What?” Takeru deadpans. “Uh huh, yeah okay. Sure,” he tries again. “No he’s not. I’m not, you’re not. No one is.”

_“Well he is.”_

“He’s lying.”

Kamui dares to pout at him.

“You know what? Forget flowers.” Takeru keeps the information in mind and will ask Quinn about it later. “How about cupcakes? Dolls? Makeup?”

“No. No. And he borrows mine, so no.”

“Is he now…?”

Kamui grins.

“Okay.” Takeru’s disbelief shows. He shakes his head. “I don’t see how I’m any helpful…” He mutters before adding, “Oh I know. What about those bean bag chairs?”

“He hates them.”

“HOW?!”

“Don’t ask me, ask him,” Kamui responds with a bored tone. “I’m sure you have better ideas than this.”

“Oh wow, sorry to disappoint but the ‘love guru’ is permanently closed. I give up.” Takeru raises his hand in defeat. “I don’t have time for this, y’know? Just give him a hug? Buy him a new tie? Skin people alive? Maybe eat his dick?”

A pause and Kamui suddenly bursts out with a howl of amusement, his shoulders shaking with life, and all Takeru can do is curse at himself for not keeping his mouth shut.

“That would be nice actually but that’s later.” Kamui leans in closer, invading Takeru’s space, the corners of his lips stretch upwards as he speaks. “How old are you again? Didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth.”

“Gross,” Takeru hisses. “And I don’t.” He steps back, putting the strap over his shoulder, the weight of his bag isn’t as heavy as he thought to be.

“Anything else?” Kamui tries.

“Look, listen or don’t. If you want Quinn to like you, then don’t be a dumbass but who knows, maybe he’ll get used to it and give you a star for trying. Just keep at it whatever it is you’re doing. You’re still standing, so that’s something at least. It shouldn’t be too hard if you survived this long, so be patient.”

It seems to be enough for Kamui as he’s running the information in his mind. Takeru gives him ten seconds, expecting more from Kamui, more questions and more ideas but Kamui is lost in his own thoughts which means Takeru has done his job. He’ll call this a success.

“See you later.” Takeru turns around.

“And if it doesn’t work out?” Kamui questions. “Then what?”

Takeru keeps walking. “You’re shit out of luck.”

**Author's Note:**

> @[ofskinandbones](http://www.ofskinandbones.tumblr.com).


End file.
